Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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