Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
