Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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