Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷