Texts From Last Night

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  (760): View more from California

  i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous

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  (760): i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous http://tfl.nu/sccn
  Replies (25) Good night (742) Bad night (5277)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.

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  (989): Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday. http://tfl.nu/laq5
  Replies (29) Good night (6804) Bad night (1343)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.

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  (212): Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right. http://tfl.nu/eck5
  Replies (8) Good night (5461) Bad night (889)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it

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  (918): Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it http://tfl.nu/0aic
  Replies (29) Good night (3797) Bad night (1636)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.

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  (253): I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs. http://tfl.nu/cszc
  Replies (15) Good night (4615) Bad night (1129)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!

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  (303): The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks! http://tfl.nu/bdkz
  Replies (11) Good night (3196) Bad night (1084)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.

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  (949): you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application. http://tfl.nu/ha6k
  Replies (7) Good night (3721) Bad night (993)
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  (554): View more from

  No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted

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  (554): No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted http://tfl.nu/praq
  Replies (12) Good night (2284) Bad night (1096)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.

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  (804): I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for. http://tfl.nu/5fqm
  Replies (2) Good night (1593) Bad night (594)
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  (607): View more from New York

  So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?

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  (607): So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear? http://tfl.nu/a30u
  Replies (4) Good night (1631) Bad night (464)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.

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  (207): I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks. http://tfl.nu/yh0t
  Replies (3) Good night (768) Bad night (253)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.

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  (973): I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early. http://tfl.nu/apcg
  Replies (3) Good night (812) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine

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  (615): Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine http://tfl.nu/rjex
  Replies (2) Good night (318) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight

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  (973): He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight http://tfl.nu/sjnp
  Replies (1) Good night (523) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week

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  (734): Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week http://tfl.nu/iesm
  Replies (2) Good night (527) Bad night (253)

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