Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
gay sex achievement: unlocked
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying