Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

69 |D_O

(1-602): View more from Arizona

wtf does that mean??

(602): View more from Arizona

it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"

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(602): 69 |D_O (1-602): wtf does that mean?? (602): it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently" http://tfl.nu/6ega

Replies (59) Good night (7548) Bad night (1101)
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(443): View more from Maryland

I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart

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(443): I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart http://tfl.nu/al7w

Replies (182) Good night (52613) Bad night (2235)
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(251): View more from Alabama

Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?

(1-251): View more from Alabama

Why are you in my underwear drawer?

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(251): Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer? (1-251): Why are you in my underwear drawer? http://tfl.nu/y2d4

Replies (15) Good night (4698) Bad night (1077)
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(607): View more from New York

haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.

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(607): haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook. http://tfl.nu/7oed

Replies (54) Good night (18838) Bad night (926)
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(727): View more from Florida

he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.

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(727): he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper. http://tfl.nu/jd33

Replies (39) Good night (5587) Bad night (1010)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.

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(832): just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno. http://tfl.nu/xrvd

Replies (28) Good night (5789) Bad night (1173)
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(216): View more from Ohio

For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma

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(216): For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma http://tfl.nu/ysyc

Replies (14) Good night (1241) Bad night (3518)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."

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(919): She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..." http://tfl.nu/ca9j

Replies (17) Good night (967) Bad night (5893)
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(801): View more from Utah

I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.

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(801): I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped. http://tfl.nu/dgi2

Replies (10) Good night (1676) Bad night (733)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.

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(605): I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming. http://tfl.nu/djrq

Replies (15) Good night (1398) Bad night (3374)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.

(314): View more from Missouri

Come down off the roof.

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(847): Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go. (314): Come down off the roof. http://tfl.nu/d3mp

Replies (3) Good night (2071) Bad night (742)
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(516): View more from New York

Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame

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(516): Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame http://tfl.nu/dqi5

Replies (2) Good night (1767) Bad night (498)
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(646): View more from New York

Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.

(347): View more from New York

Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!

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(646): Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee. (347): Wait a min, you had drugs last night?! http://tfl.nu/3nfc

Replies (1) Good night (1303) Bad night (790)
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(613): View more from Ontario

he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents

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(613): he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents http://tfl.nu/5ltr

Replies (1) Good night (521) Bad night (761)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.

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(608): I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever. http://tfl.nu/xcdq

Replies (10) Good night (1203) Bad night (520)

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