After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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