sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag