just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
