Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
