I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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