she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So much rum. So many feels.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
