How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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