Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
and you fell through a lawn chair
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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