so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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