Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I party with great urgency now.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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