i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Randomize
