just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
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