My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
