the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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