thus making me awesome and them whores
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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