Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
