you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
