She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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