I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Everyone says I win the strip club
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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