DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
