the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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