ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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