the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
