I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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