some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
