our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
