dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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