I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize