His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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