The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
