You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
actually, I'm a sock model
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
