tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I enjoy the company of your penis
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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