Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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