I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
my being single is dangerous.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
