Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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