Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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