i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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