They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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