You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
