I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
