she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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