Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
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Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
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He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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