i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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