i just had sex bonerless
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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