i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
