Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
