i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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