She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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