Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
