So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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