White coat. Heels.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Four minutes until I can fart!
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
