laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You dont lie about slip and slides
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just want nice things and good sex
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
