dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize