enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
