I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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