only if we run a train.
done.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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