Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
